CHCH Dallington's room

Dallington, Christchurch 8061

Secure your stronghold. For $220 weekly, command the greater chamber; for $200, the lesser. Victory lies in calculation: all operational costs and vital bills are entirely absorbed. Retreat from chaotic skirmishes into absolute, fortified silence behind a fully secured perimeter. Within these peaceful borders, your animal allies are welcomed with open gates. Position your forces in this unassailable sanctuary, mastering the art of supreme domestic tranquility.

Hi I’m Sun Tzu, the writer of a old book called the Art of War 514BC, to ensure absolute victory over domestic chaos, all inhabitants must recognize that the kitchen counter is a sovereign border requiring immediate post-meal de-escalation, the tv is an unalterable strategic asset controlled solely by the high command, and any guest staying past forty-eight hours will be formally classified as a hostile occupying force subject to immediate economic sanctions via the power bill.